A CHRISTMAS POEM
by
MACE J. YAMPOLSKY
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house only 1 lawyer was stirring
Me, the Louse!!
Visions of sugar plums danced in my head
I contemplated whether I was better off dead
The Grinch has spoken, the trial would start
The day after Christmas, said the Judge with no heart
But your Honor, I have plans with non-refundable tickets
He glares from the bench and told me to stick it
I appealed to his better nature, if I could find it
But he snarled Merry Christmas though teeth that were grinding
I prepared feverishly while drinking egg nog
I pondered over the evidence, while thinking of Grog
The thoughts were confused, my logic was murky
Clarity of purpose is tough while stuffed with turkey
In the background Bing crooned of Christmases of white
The time was moving quickly, I zoomed through the night
The holiday spirit was brimming all night long
The caroling urge consumed me, so I composed this song....
“A Criminal Defense Lawyer’s Twelve Days of Christmas”
(Due to space limitations, we will begin on the Twelfth day and work backwards)
On the 12th day of Christmas my law clerk gave to me:
“ 12 Judges Listening”
“11 Clerks a’ Helping”
“10 Friendly Bailiffs”
“9 O.R. Motions ”
“8 Continuances Granted”
“7 Great Reversals”
“6 appreciative clients
“5 Huge Retainers”
“4 Friendly D.A.’s”
“3 Nice P.D.’s”
“2 Happy Staff”
“1 Innocent Client”
AND A SPORTS CAR FOR MY BABE FOR ME!!!!!
Happy Holidays!
