I've previously written about ridiculous crimes and idiotic criminals. One guy trying to siphon gas from an RV only to siphon the septic tank (talk about a crappy meal). A guy tired to rob the 7-11 of booze, but he gave the clerk his ID because she would not sell him alcohol without it. There was the bank robber that wrote his stick up not on a deposit slip with his name and address. Someone who was convicted of drunk driving on a motorized bar stool. But this one takes the cake
An Illinois woman, 56, is facing an aggravated assault rap after allegedly attempting to strike a cop with a sex toy. It is alleged that she had skipped out on a restaurant bill, an officer from the Gurnee, Illinois Police Department accompanied the suspect to her apartment, where she promised to retrieve money to pay the tab, according to a police press release.
However, when she reached inside a dresser drawer to get the purported cash, she instead removed a "clear, rigid feminine pleasure device," held it above her head, and advanced on the cop "in a threatening manner." The officer responded by knocking the sex toy out of the way before he was struck with the device.
The sex toy, which was not confiscated by cops, (I guess it was not contraband) was further described by Deputy Chief Kevin Woodside. The item, he noted, was six inches long and "attached to a nylon harness."(Yee Haw)
In addition to the assault count, she was charged with public intoxication and theft of services for allegedly dining and dashing at Joe's Crab Shack.(stolen crabs!).She is free on a personal recognizance bond, and scheduled for a December 6, 2010 court appearance.
Several thoughts come to mind: Maybe the judge will be "hard on" her and give her a stiff sentence. She'll probably get off. It gives new meaning to the term "bad vibes" I would attempt to plead her to assault with a friendly weapon. I once had a case where a client was accused of sodomy and I was able to plead it down to following too close! My final comment is this: "rigid feminine pleasure device?" that's not a sex toy, that's a credit card!
